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Velvet Kink Meme 1.0
♥ Oh, hello, TVK. Is it me you're looking for? ♥

Even if it isn't, it should be! We haven't had a kink meme... ever... and frankly, what with the love dodecahedron and the other ships forming besides, we desperately need one.

To that end, post requests! There are only a few simple rules in Fight Club the Velvet Kink Meme:

1. NEVER DE-ANON. No matter what. Seriously. If you de-anon you will be put on the spot and forced to fill a prompt that you can rest assured will be properly horrifying and will make you wish you had paid more attention when selecting posting options.

2. For ease of posting, make sure to at least include these three pieces of info when putting up your request.

<b>Characters:</b> <b>Rating:</b> <b>Prompt:</b>

For instance, a horrifying request you may receive for accidentally de-anoning might be:

Characters: Beer/Kaiji
Rating: SMUT EVERYWHERE (meaning, NC-17)
Prompt: I shouldn't have to describe how this is going to work.

3. Requests can be filled as fic, threaded out by the actual characters if they're brave enough (or crazy enough), or filled with artwork! And nobody is too 'untalented' enough not to fill a request; if you have an idea, go ahead and post it up! It's all anon anyway!

4. Someone else's kink may not be your kink! This is totally okay and what makes the world go round. I don't want to see any kink shaming on here, though I'm sure I won't, because you are all a lovely bunch of people who can act civilized when requesting porn.

5. Don't want porn? Requesting gen or fluff is also perfectly okay and in fact encouraged! If your character is too young or you have a great idea for a genfic, post it up!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Diarmuid/Arturia
Rating: Sexy
Prompt: Trying to figure out roleplay via an instruction manual found at Diarmuid's store.

hiiamobvious

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Klaus/McDuck
Rating: Unacceptable for the eyes of the underclasses
Prompt: Klaus and Scrooge have found themselves with an abundance of fine wines and liquors, a warn fireplace, and a pile of burgundy velvet smoking jackets.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Anyone/Tatsuma
Rating: Any
Prompt: Someone takes it as their personal mission to make Tatsuma get loud. Their methods and success is up to you.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Arturia/Garviel
Rating: PG-13 and up
Prompt: Garviel discovers Arturia's gender in a rather more... hands-on fashion.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Klaus/Ada
Rating: bow chica wow wow
Prompt: They must investigate these urges for the sake of science

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Gilgamesh/Arturia
Rating: Smut, need I say more?
Prompt: Gil already knows Arturia is his, so why not let the world know? He already has her tied up, now he is going to break her mind until she admits she is his, and is going to have sex with her for everyone to see.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Lancer/other Lancer
Rating: Any
Prompt: Hero worship goes a little too far. Or in exactly the right direction.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: arturia x nero
Rating: smut smut smut smut smut
Prompt: Nero and Arturia look to see which Saber is the best. With sexy results.

Title... I hate titles.

[(Anonymous)]

"Oh, honestly." Nero huffs a little, put out by Arturia's request to leave. "If it were only a matter of looks, I could well conduct this over our devices and save the trouble of coming to your abode."

Arturia tilts her head a little. "You have already ruled out combat prowess. What else is there?" she asks.

A wicked gleam comes into Nero's eye. "Sensitivity."

"And what do you mean by thaaaaaah?!" The startled ending of that sentence is because Nero has grabbed her breasts through her dress and is rubbing them. And really, what are you meant to say to that?

"Oh... Yours are more sensitive than mine, if smaller." Nero sounds a bit put out. "I'm almost jealous."

"H-have we concluded this examination?" Arturia asks, not knowing why her cheeks are flushed.

Nero hasn't removed her hands. "Of course not. To be completely accurate in this assessment, we must do this without clothes in the way. And you should test mine, of course."

Arturia fears very few things, but she would readily admit that Nero's expression at that moment is one of them.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Any/Persona
Rating: High as a kite
Prompt: The ultimate question: can you have sex with your Persona?

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ryunnosuke, Diarmuid/Arturia
Rating: heh
Prompt: Creepy McMurderer likes to watch

Hey look, it's porn. R

[(Anonymous)]

Ryuunosuke was grateful he didn't smoke. It would totally give away his position if he lit up here. He wasn't sure how Lancer and Saber hadn't noticed him yet, tucked in between the crates of the storehouse, but that was probably because all their focus was on each other.

Lancer pushing Saber against the wall, her wrapping her legs around his waist, the tension that was present in their fighting finally resolved...

There was no way he was interrupting that. It would be back to awkward glances when they thought the other wasn't looking for weeks.

So Ryuunosuke watched. He didn't have a very good vantage point, but there was only so close you could get to a Servant before they would sense you no matter how distracted they were. He couldn't quite see all of Lancer undressing her, but he could see most of it, and damn if the noise she made wasn't the perfect noise any woman had ever made. He kind of wished he had some popcorn for the occasion, or maybe streamers and lights.

It had been spur of the moment, and the wall couldn't have been very comfortable for her, but she didn't seem to mind; he couldn't see what he was doing with his hand between him, but it was definitely making her loud when paired with what else he was doing.

Oh, they were moving away from the wall, towards the floor with her on top of him. With all of his experience Ryuunosuke knew that that position was going to be way more comfortable for her, and Lancer was nothing if not devoted to her comfort. Iiiiiit was just that if she was facing him-

Saber's eyes went even wider, and she whispered something to Lancer. Immediately Lancer narrowed his eyes, craning his neck to face the exact spot where Ryuunosuke was hiding.

Ryuunosuke waved shyly.

...Awkward.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Atsuro/Madoka - wait come back!
Rating: G-PG
Prompt: Everything is sparkles and rainbows and young love in a dark, dark world.

[(Anonymous)]

It was the Dark Hour.

Though the time was nearing its end, two teenagers fought valiantly on. They didn't have much of a choice; they were completely surrounded, and running was impossible.

"K-Kihara-kun! Look out," cried the younger of the two, a sweet-faced girl with pink hair. She cringed as the older boy was hit head on by a Shadow. She felt the familiar sense of helplessness as she could do no more than watch, her Persona busily engaged in identifying the Shadows and, most importantly, their weakness.

"I'm fine!" Atsuro called, quickly getting to his feet once more. "Just focus on figuring out the weakness! I can hang on that long." It was only partially a lie. While he had his doubts, he was still determined to stay on his feet as long as he could. He had to - if he didn't, they were both as good as dead...

"Ah, I see--" Madoka murmured, struck by a sudden insight. "Kihara-kun! They are weak to physical attacks!" The words brought a grin to his face.

"Got it! This should be easy!" Focusing on his own Persona, he called up the spirit of an ancient hero. "Aminari! Power Slash!" Heeding his command, the faint figure slashed at an enemy Shadow, causing it to vanish into a spurt of darkness. He was feeling much more confident now. There may have been a lot of them, but his Persona happened to specialize in physical attacks. It might be close, but now he was certain he had a chance.

Continuing to summon his Persona between bashing the Shadows with his metal pipe, Atsuro was able to cut through a quarter of the creatures with relative ease, sustaining only small amounts of damage when he ran too deeply into the thick of them. At least, until one stuck him with a hard blow to the head.

"Media!" With that single word alone, Atsuro felt all of his pain vanish. In his surprise, he turned toward his companion, just in time for an arrow to fly past his face and bury itself in a Shadow. "Please be careful, Atsuro-kun!"

"...Of course. Hang in there, Madoka! We'll be out soon!" He turned back to the Shadows, gripping the pipe tightly. In this way, neither could see the other's face. Which was just as well; the embarrassed blush was distracting enough, and there were still Shadows to fight.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Gawain, Nero and Arturia
Rating: any
Prompt:
Saber trio shenanigans

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ingrid/Klaus
Rating: make it hideous
Prompt: Power struggle

I guess this is hideous if you call gen hideous on a kink meme?

[(Anonymous)]

Of course he's a teacher. No other profession allows him to best use his aptitude for science. It turns out that there are no heavily-guarded labs on the cutting edge of the industry that he can walk up and apply to in Prospero.

Of course she's a teacher. She's just a teacher; that's what she does.

He's a science teacher; that's what he does. By necessity they compete for students.

He teaches dissection. She teaches physics.

He teaches dissection. She rolls her eyes and teaches momentum.

He teaches dissection and starts to notice that he doesn't have many students left. He also notices that her classroom is full to bursting. He grumbles at the need to report to someone higher than him and asks the principal why so many students have left his classroom.

"Why, it's because you've ignored the curriculum completely in order to suit your own whims. If you lose any more students that way, I'm afraid I'll have to fire you."

Klaus sees her in the teachers' lounge and makes sure to scowl at her, a scowl that would have sent anyone not a Spark from his world reeling and begging for mercy.

Ingrid smiles and waves.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ada/Klaus/Ingrid
Rating: sexy
Prompt: The ladies gang up on the local science buff

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Klaus/whoever
Rating: yes
Prompt: cheesy overuse of 'scientific' terminology during the act

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: the sabers
Rating: yes
Prompt: they look similar but they'd like to find the differences

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: arturia/klaus
Rating: whichever
Prompt: battle of who's the sexiest

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Everyone/Garviel
Rating: As high as you can go, baby
Prompt: The rest of Prospero decides to show Mr. Naive Space Marine what he's been missing.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Arturia/Garviel
Rating: HUFF HUFF OH BABY
Prompt: This song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRd-yPFQ0t8)

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ingrid/Anyone
Rating: Hideous
Prompt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEtFNUZQekc This song

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ada & Klaus
Rating: idec
Prompt: Mythbusting

Warning: Here there be PORN.

[(Anonymous)]

It starts out simple: a kiss in the school break-room becomes an impromptu experiment to see whether the age-old trope of having to 'come up for air' holds any weight scientifically. After nearly ten minutes with no end in sight, they conclude that that is what noses were made for, and start a second round to confirm their data.

Myth One (Is it possible to asphyxiate because of kissing too long?): SOUNDLY BUSTED.

Kissing in the break-room soon becomes kissing in his hotel room with Ada up against the wall, her button-down shirt open and hanging off her shoulders and her newfangled front-clasp bra similarly undone.

"You know," Klaus hums, idly swiping a thumb over her left nipple, "they say a woman's breasts are naturally lopsided."

"Who's 'they', and what right do they have to imply that my body is anything less than mathematical perfection?" she says, wiggling and arching her back.

"It isn't mathematics, Lovelace, it's biology."

"And it's insul-- what are you doing, get your mouth off of-- aah!"

Myth Two (Are breasts uneven?): INCONCLUSIVE DUE TO LOVELACE BEING AN UPTIGHT SPOILSPORT AND THE FACT THAT BREASTS ARE DISTRACTING.

And then, in the sake of fairness, he feels obligated to test whether she really is an uptight spoilsport -- is that a thing you can measure in scientific terms? She's tight, if nothing else, and he's not ruling out spoilsport either, though thus-far all she's been is whiny and demanding.

"There is a bed right there!" she huffs, the hand in his hair tugging perhaps a bit harder than is really necessary, nails scraping against his scalp.

"And I'd crush you if we were to use it."

"I could-- aaah-ah!-- I could ride you! That's a more mathematically sound position anyway--"

He rolls his eyes. "Oh, please, you're a lady, as you so often like to remind me. What in the world would you know about riding anything?"

Her face flushes further (is that even possible?). "There were a lot of... knobbly bits on the Difference Engine and I had... I had a lot of time to myself..."

He has to press his face into her shoulder to muffle a snort of laughter.

Myth Three (Is Ada Lovelace an uptight spoilsport?): BUSTED. THAT BITCH IS KINKY.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Saori/anyone
Rating: idc
Prompt: Saori decides to take matters into her own hands.

[(Anonymous)]

Make this Saori/April

redhead lesbians yessssss

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Klaus/Scrooge/Ingrid
Rating: WANNA TAKE A RIDE ON YOUR DISCO STICK
Prompt: OLD PEOPLE GETTIN' IT ON

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ingrid/Any of her students
Rating: Whatever strikes your fancy
Prompt: Any sort of 'teaching' scenario. Leaving the interpretation of that up to anon.

Teaching = facepalming when your students are morons. Drabble.

[(Anonymous)]

If her students would only stop dying, she would be much more relieved.

Ingrid posted a message somewhat to that effect. Her first reply: an Issei hanging his head and apologizing. "I never meant to cause you trouble by doing so, sensei. I'll do what I can to not cause any disruption to class and to pick up the materials I missed. Please forgive me."

Allen's response was similar, if a little more brief. "Sorry... I'll make up for it later."

Did they really not expect her to be worried over their welfare? Any good teacher would be.

They were both going to get lectured about taking care of themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ledah/April
Rating: Any
Prompt: The most awkward situation known to man.