Texts From Last Night meme!

[technologic]

texts from last night

1. Post with your characters, optionally with a text from last night. Feel free to leave the comment blank!
2. Others comment.
3. Drunken shenanigans/epic trolling/facepalms ensue.
4. ???
5. TAKE PICTURES FOR GREAT PROFIT.

Comments

[truthsnomiracle]

I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.

[needsteaplz]

Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

[needsteaplz]

Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.

[doudemoe]

Do you really mean that?

[doudemoe]

since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

[heavenscorpse]

I don't have the same parts to flash, is that okay?

[technologic]

I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job supporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

[athngabla]

Too bad it couldn't high-five back without screwing up that track record.

[chroimilis]

He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"

alternatively

[chroimilis]

Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally

[spinoff]

He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way

[doudemoe]

Are you gonna ask him out?

[devola]

You went into Starbucks and asked for a mocha "on the rocks"

[fourteenthscion]

I think I was wasted on our date

Or i just wanted more alcohol.

[lyres]

Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.

[white_knightin]

I don't know if I should be laughing or disturbed....

[ex_cashcow493]

had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

[doudemoe]

[...How should he take this new information.]

Sounds like it'd hurt.

[Play the captain obvious angle, that's how.]

[athngabla]

Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rum out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

[needsteaplz]

yeah but you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping

[innheritance]

How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?

[doudemoe]

You say, "No thanks."

[popola]

Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

[white_knightin]

got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

[crouching_sin]

I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel. It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.

[babel_hacker]

Really?

[amnesiadragon]

Fine. I'll sleep in my office

[breatheinthefog]

I don't see why it matters so much to sleep in your room.

[genius_idiot]

My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf

[crouching_sin]

Well, are you?

[crownedexorcist]

Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too

[king_of_heroes]

I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.

[needsteaplz]

Do you even know HOW to breakdance?

[babel_hacker]

Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?

[heavenscorpse]

I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.

[crouching_sin]

ROY G. BIV. Now take off the shirt.

[harpbeat]

All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

[kindofademon]

either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.

[forgivethemtheirpain]

Perv.

[fourteenthscion]

I did too many shots and now a parrot is trying to eat my bagel

[technologic]

Hurry and eat the bagel first.

[myblimpisbigger]

We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.

[needsteaplz]

If you wanted magic brownies that badly, all you had to do was ask.

[perfectisofon]

you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping