/maniacal laughter

[unknownrival]

Velvet Kink Meme 2.0
♥ Oh, hello, TVK. Is it me you're looking for? ♥

Even if it isn't, it should be! We haven't had a kink meme... for a while... and frankly, what with the ships forming ever, we desperately need one.

To that end, post requests! There are only a few simple rules in Fight Club the Velvet Kink Meme:

1. NEVER DE-ANON. No matter what. Seriously. If you de-anon you will be put on the spot and forced to fill a prompt that you can rest assured will be properly horrifying and will make you wish you had paid more attention when selecting posting options.

2. For ease of posting, make sure to at least include these three pieces of info when putting up your request.

<b>Characters:</b> <b>Rating:</b> <b>Prompt:</b>

For instance, a horrifying request you may receive for accidentally de-anoning might be:

Characters: Beer/Kaiji
Rating: SMUT EVERYWHERE (meaning, NC-17)
Prompt: I shouldn't have to describe how this is going to work.

3. Requests can be filled as fic, threaded out by the actual characters if they're brave enough (or crazy enough), or filled with artwork! And nobody is too 'untalented' enough not to fill a request; if you have an idea, go ahead and post it up! It's all anon anyway!

4. Someone else's kink may not be your kink! This is totally okay and what makes the world go round. I don't want to see any kink shaming on here, though I'm sure I won't, because you are all a lovely bunch of people who can act civilized when requesting porn.

5. Don't want porn? Requesting gen or fluff is also perfectly okay and in fact encouraged! If your character is too young or you have a great idea for a genfic, post it up!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Francis/Shakespeare
Rating: Any
Prompt: A night of wining and dining.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Klaus, Feferi, anyone
Rating: PG-13 or below
Prompt: Setting brains on fire.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Saori/Kaiji
Rating: Any
Prompt: She tops him in everything.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ruler/David
Rating: PG-13 or below
Prompt: "Why is everyone around us so crazy..."

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Sakurako, Madoka (Kugimiya), John, V/V
Rating: G
Prompt: Band hijinks! All of them.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Eater/Robin Hood
Rating: Any
Prompt: He's her boytoy, pretty much - and male!Eater doesn't help things.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Albedo/V/V
Rating: Any - really, any
Prompt: Attempts to show her the worst of humanity.

[(Anonymous)]

When she takes him to the street corner to show him the old man playing ball games with the children, he takes her to see the man wearing the sign saying that the end is nigh and all the sinners will be taken to hell.

When she takes him to the cathedral to witness the sunrise through the stained glass windows, he takes her to a bar that shows only the news of religion clashing against it's mirrors.

When she takes him to the grave yard to show him a soldiers grave, he takes her to the military top brass who are planning a new attack.

When she takes him to see the baker who every night gives out the last of his wares to those who need it, he takes her to the countries in Africa where such people are forgotten.

When she gives him chocolate, he gives her cocaine.

She wants to show him the soaring sky with the cooling winds and he wants to pull her down below the Earth to where the molten core burns.

Neither will ever see the others point of view, but perhaps that is the point. Maybe for them it is the journey that matters more then agreement.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Ledah/April
Rating: PG-13 or below
Prompt: They actually get around to confessing.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Gilgamesh/Beatrice
Rating: Any
Prompt: Arguments lead to something more...!

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Lancer+Diarmuid+Sanaki (Cu Chulainn+Setanta)
Rating: PG at most
Prompt: 'Why the hell are there two other versions of me here?'

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Francis/William
Rating: Any
Prompt: After so long, he finally finds out that she's Elizabeth.

[(Anonymous)]

Beauty, truth, and
Grace in all simplicity,
Here enclos'd in cinders lie.

To say that Shakespeare mourned her is to say that Shakespeare is an Englishman who lived at the time of her death. The era is named for her not simply because she happened to be queen for so long but because she defined the time, brought an age of wisdom, an age where the beauty of William's words could flourish and Francis's glorious quests could set sail. An age where Britain was about something more than its soldiers and fleets.

Elizabeth was her country, and William owed her an enormous debt. He had wondered, secretly in his heart of hearts, whether he might ever see her again. She was no fighter, but neither was he, and her influence on the world was far greater than his.

"Hey." Francis rolled over beside him. "What are you thinking about?"

"Merely the times we both came from," he answered with a small smile. "Our countrymen would surely have a fit if they could see us now."

She laughed at that. "I can imagine it. Of course, I'd insist that you write at least one play about me."

"For you, I think that could be done," he answered, lifting her hand to lay a kiss upon it. "The fearless navigator and explorer must have a hundred tales worthy of my humble retellings."

"Now you're just flattering me." She pulled away a little, idly touching the scar on her face. "I wonder what the queen would have said."

"You knew her better than I," he answered.

"You have no idea." She snorted. "Francis Drake always managed to be annoying in ways where you couldn't get mad at him. I'm sure he'd have something to say."

"...I fear I don't understand," William replied slowly.

The woman called Francis Drake grinned at him. "Elizabeth, on the other hand, was just full of smart remarks she couldn't say out loud. Now that we're here, I bet she'll say something like 'aren't I the best goddamn actor you've ever seen?'"

"...My queen, I-"

"Okay, no 'my queen'. First order as your queen."

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: David/All the women in Prospero
Rating: Any
Prompt: He manages to create the ultimate harem!

[(Anonymous)]

It takes a few days before David's corpse washes up on the shores of prospero, the ultimate result of trying to play so many violent women at once. You would think he would have learned, having been told by God himself to stop screwing around, but some people just don't know how to listen.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Albedo/Issei
Rating: Any
Prompt: He found out his weakness, so he decided to play with them for a bit more.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Arturia/Diarmuid
Rating: NC-17
Prompt: Their relationship needed to take that step...

ADULT CONTENT

[(Anonymous)]

Diarmuid has gotten back from a long night of shadow hunting and had finally relaxes in his chair with that magazine he'd been meaning to read when he heard Arturia call from the other room,

"Diarmuid, where are your W-2 forms?"

"In the second drawer of the filing cabinet. Why?"

"I'm doing our taxes."

A reasonable explanation, he thought.

About halfway through reading a riveting article on the Art of Troubles period Northern Ireland, he saw Saber appear in the doorway, wearing a pair of glasses and chewing on the end of a pencil while staring purposefully at a pile of papers in her hand.

"Diarmuid, why are you taking three exemptions?"

"We always end up receiving a large refund, so I thought it would be nicer to spread it out over the year by paying less from each paycheck."

"Ahh."

Arturia turned and headed back towards the other room and her task of accountancy as Diarmuid searched for the spot in the article where he left off.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Shakespeare/fanboys
Rating: Any
Prompt: The British pimp.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Shakespeare, the red heads of TVK (Yes that includes Francis.)
Rating: anything
Prompt: That one night Shakespeare forgot to turn off his swag.

[(Anonymous)]

"I am terribly sorry about this. I'm usually much better about remembering it." Shakespeare did indeed look penitent. "Please forgive me."

"I-i-it's okay..." April was just as embarrassed over waking up cuddling with a strange man, and had gotten off the bed as fast as possible, tripping over herself in the process. "I-it's anyone whose hair is red?"

He nodded. "Or pink." He indicated Astolfo still pulling himself off together. "Or slightly reddish brown, in certain cases." Miki's scream of horror had woken most of them up in the first place.

"Is it that much of a problem?" Ryuunosuke yawned and stretched out his arms behind his head. "I mean, he is full of swag."

"I think I've got a crick in my neck from sleeping on the floor," Devola replied. "The bed physically doesn't fit that many redheads."

Asuka was grumbling something to herself before she spoke up. "Can we go now instead of talking about how weird it was that we all woke up together?"

"You could, but I smell - the particular mix of Shirou Emiya and Saori Nakagawa's cooking after they both woke up early," Tamamo-no-Mae declared. "Let's make haste-"

That prompted everyone to make haste towards the kitchen, except for one redhead still lying next to Shakespeare. He chuckled. "It does smell delicious. Are you certain you don't wish to join them?"

Francis shook her head a little into the pillow. "Too comfortable. I'm sleeping in and so are you."

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Francis/Shakespeare
Rating: Any
Prompt: Shakespeare's birthday and Francis organizes everything.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Nero→Hakuno←Tamamo
Rating: Any
Prompt: The two Servants decide to settle once and for all who is better suited to be their Master's wife. Hakuno is understandably frightened.

[(Anonymous)]

"What," Caster asked seriously, "is your rank in Territory Creation?"

Saber blinked. "That skill belongs to the Caster class. Surely you must know that as a Caster."

"Exactly! The ability to set up a place where Master would be safe and sound and feel comfortable - the creation of a home, that belongs to me! All that you would be able to do is make some kind of hole in the wall by bashing at it." Caster looked triumphant.

Saber snorted and rubbed her head. "For one thing, you have a terrible rank in Territory Creation anyway - even a hole in the wall would be a far better place to live in than what you came up with. Second of all! Whose legend is of the most beautiful places, sighs and sounds?! I filled my home with the most glorious of treasures so that I could enjoy them, and I would do the same for my beloved Master! With me she would never want for entertainment, nor for joy!"

"You would forget to put in a bed!"

"I would not!"

Hakuno also rubbed her head. One of Saber's headaches was coming on right now.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Atsuro/Madoka
Rating: Any
Prompt: Madoka borrows Atsuro's laptop and accidentally finds his "special" folder! WHAT DO.

[(Anonymous)]

"I-I-I'm really sorry!" Madoka began, with a bright red face.

"About what?" Atsuro had to ask.

She turned even brighter red and looked away. "W-when I came over the last time... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go snooping, it's my fault - I just wanted to see what pictures you had, since you'd saved some really nice ones, and I found that folder with the password on it and I'm so sorry..."

"Wait, wait." He blushed a little, but went on. "You didn't actually... get the password to that, did you?"

She shook her head frantically. "I didn't see anything!"

Atsuro shook his head. "That's the folder where I keep my credit card information in case I lose mine, and some other passwords. There aren't actually any pictures in there at all."

"...Really? So it's not a...?" Madoka stared in amazement, then breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad! But, I'm still sorry about looking through your computer."

"It's okay. I'm glad this was all just a misunderstanding."

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Gawain/Lancelot
Rating: Any
Prompt: No hard feelings, right.......?

[(Anonymous)]

"...I want you to know that I'm sorry about... everything." Gawain chose to let 'everything' go without further explanation, as it would take several books to fully describe.

Lancelot nodded. "I hold nothing against you."

"Really? That's good." Their worst accusers were still themselves, but they had at least taken that step in the right direction. "Actually, I wanted to give you something, hang on."

Lancelot examined what Gawain was holding out to him. "...A ticket?"

"I saw that this was being put on at the theater: I can't go because of my schedule, but it should be pleasant for you to watch. It's about the Knights of the Round Table; actually, you're one of the characters."

A small smile appeared on Lancelot's face. "Thank you. I will be sure to attend this viewing of Spamalot."

And then they never spoke to each other again.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Li Shuwen+Gawain
Rating: Any
Prompt: They sit down and talk about their Master and possible outcomes.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Saber (Arturia) + her knights
Rating: Fluff
Prompt: She decides to organize a picnic and gather all her loyal knights to spend time together. Chaos happens.

[(Anonymous)]

To be at all honest, it was like herding cats. You finally get one Knight to go set out the table cloth and three others escape and are booking it for the river.

You get them back there to help with set up and another one escapes to towel whip someone who's bending over. Hardly knightly behavior.

Finally, you're all sitting down to eat and no one passes the salt. Why did you do this again?

Oh yes. You're their King, and this is the closest you can get to a round table dinner.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Saori + Gilgamesh
Rating: any
Prompt: Saori's fed up with Gil and plans the best way to knock him down a peg.

[(Anonymous)]

It had taken hear years of searching, grovelling, and calling in every single favor she had ever received, some she still hadn't received, and even some favors she had to pretend to be someone else to get, but Saori was finally in position to partake her revenge on that bastard. She had found his long lost palace, buried under the sands, still sealed and filled with the treasures of a thousand kingdoms. Statues and frescoes to the God King of Uruk praised his glory along every wall, in every corridor, with the skill of artists unmatched even in the modern era. It was to be the place where her plans would come together.

But she was not in that place.

Saori Nakagawa, the youngest member of the National Security Council sat up from her chair in an undisclosed location in Washington, D.C. and thumped her finger down on a map of Iraq somewhere in the barren desert south of the Euphrates.

"Here, President Romney, this is where the Iranians have hidden their cache of weapons to supply the insurgents with. It is heavily fortified. I would recommend the largest ordinance we could legally use."

The president smiled and nodded, picking up a phone on his end of the table and ordering the strike within fifteen minutes. Despite using what willpower she could muster, Saori began to laugh with maniacal glee.

"Is something the matter, Ms. Nakagawa?" the president asked.

"No, Mr. Romney, I was just remembering a joke that Senator McCain had told me after an Armed Services Committee meeting..."

[(Anonymous)]

Characters:Ledah/April
Rating:Any
Prompt:Time for hugs.

[(Anonymous)]

April suffers from nightmares bad enough to keep her awake for the rest of the night. When that happens, Ledah has instructed her to wake him, and they spend that time speaking to each other, or even just reading and knowing that the other is there.

Sometimes it's bad enough that when April grabs his shoulder to wake him, Ledah will take one look at her expression and gather her into his arms. When she's in pain it causes him pain. Ledah still doesn't precisely know why, but he would be foolish not to recognize it.

Once in a while it will be him that wakes her up, usually on accident when he cries out. He mumbles, "I had a nightmare," while not quite looking at her, and she hugs him tightly. She's glad she can do something for him; he nestles his face between her neck and shoulder and thanks her for it again.

[(Anonymous)]

Characters: Issei, Feferi, Vriska
Rating: Any
Prompt: Trying to get between two kismesisters leads to more than that...

[velvetyhelpers]

Keep it pg-13 up in heres with 13 year olds. Thank you.